The Fowl & The Fool
by Tidus and Artemis rocks
Summary: Chapter 6 is up: ArtemisYuffie TidusYuna. What would life be like living with a cold intellectual criminal and a hyper, goofy blitzace? Humerous times...but not for Artemis...rated for sex talk.
1. Art Man!

**A/N:** _Okay...hello people. We - being Yunie and Yuffie - have thought of doing this for a while...and have now done it. This is a parody about Artemis Fowl, Tidus and their girlfriends._

_Tidus and Yuna: Tidus and Yuna are off a PS2 game called Final Fantasy X. Now...if you have never heard of it...this will be a very brief summary of their personalities...not the game...okay? Anyways...Tidus is goofy, hyper, caring, couragous, prouda and friendly...a typical beach boy. He has short spikey blonde hair, ocean blue eyes and has tanned skin. Yuna is determined, courageous, has inner strength, is reserved and kind. She has short honey brown hair, thin build, and is skillful with guns...which is why Yunie and Yuffie are great partners when doing 'errands' for Artemis...which is where they are now when this conversation between Artemis and Tidus is going on. _

_Yuffie is an Other Character in which I - being Yuffie (Aurum Potestas Est) have created (but got the name from FFVII...so I haven't made the name up...just the character). If you read my fics, you'll know who she is...she's in a relationship with Artemis (after an age of trying to change him, in which she changed him minimally)._

_If you need to know more about Yuna and Tidus...put it in the review and I'll email it to you or put it in the replies for the next chapter. _

_This is supposed to be a humerous fic, but there is also romance as well. _

_I think Artemis's character goes without saying..._

_IN this parody...Yunie and Yuffie know each other and subsequently live with each other at Fowl Manor, at Yuffie's request. Artemis has reluctantly obliged due ot the fact that he loves Yuffie. Read on and you'll find out more!_

**The Fowl and The Fool**

**Fowl Manor, in the Study, 12 PM**

Artemis was sitting at his computer, when suddenly his door slammed open with a bang. Artemis did not jump. He merely swivelled his head toward the person who caused the noise and sighed; clearly annoyed.

"Hey Art Man!" exclaimed the blonde, blue eyed man.

Artemis didn't respond to this childish greeting. He simply stared at the person who had disturbed his concentration, hoping that the icy glare he shot towards him was enough to intimidate the young fool.

But this certain blonde took no notice. He did however make his way over to where Artemis sat, gazing around the study in complete awe.

"Man this place looks boring!"

Artemis sighed again; his temper rising. He looked away and massaged his temples. He suddenly swivelled his leather chair around to fully focus on the tall blitz ace towering before him.

Artemis closed his eyes and rose from the chair to stand at eye level; a frustrated look on his face.

"Can't you see I'm busy Tidus? I've told you time and time again…DO NOT DISTURB ME WHEN I AM FORMULATING A PLAN!" he responded firmly, his voice slightly rising.

Tidus gave Artemis a weird look, but then shook off the icicles that were left from Artemis's stare.

"Whatever...now that you're up and about, lets do something," said Tidus cheerfully and full of hope that Artemis would oblige to his request.

Artemis continued to stare coldly toward Tidus and replied: "Are you deficient? Are you deaf? I said in my previous response that I am in the middle of form…"

"Hey…Art Man…I know what you said…it's just I really don't care. I mean…what's with the skin? Say it with me…sunlight," interrupted Tidus, who noticed Artemis's very light complexion, due to the amount of time he spent inside; devising evil and illegitimate plans.

"For the last time…my name is Artemis Fowl the Second. I do not wish to be called 'Art Man' – where ever you came up with that name will be the death of me…and that is very unlikely…which encourages me to come to the conclusion that perhaps you do it to annoy me – but getting back to the point…I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF A CRUCIAL ELEMENT OF MY PLAN THAT NEEDS INTRICATE ATTENTION TO DETAIL!" exclaimed Artemis, coldly.

Tidus gazed at him, as he tried to take in everything Artemis had just said.

"Okay, I got the name and I heard 'plan' a few times…or maybe just once…but anyways…other than that; you've lost me!" Tidus said, scratching the back of his head, somewhat confused.

Artemis closed his eyes and tried to not lose his cool…which basically never happened.

"Well, let me put it into words that only a deficient, unintellectual person would understand. GO AWAY!" exclaimed Artemis.

Tidus grinned somewhat evilly, folded his arms and said: "Well I happen to know for a fact that you're supposed to be 'nice' to me while _I'm_ here," said Tidus, almost slyly; emphasising the word 'I'm'.

"Oh? And who informed you of this? I 'bow to no one' as the saying goes, though I suppose you'd know nothing of literacy…would you Tidus?" asked Artemis, smiling slyly and hopefully successfully changing the direction of the conversation.

"I'm just gonna block out the last part. Anyway…Yuffie told me that if you don't act civil with me then you won't be getting 'any' for a long, long time!" Tidus replied, as he raised his eyebrows, with a cheeky smile.

Artemis, who had turned around to face the window with his back toward Tidus, suddenly widened his eyes. _'How could she say such a comment to the likes of…him?'_ thought Artemis.

"She wouldn't be able to resist me even if she did express that request," said Artemis slyly as he turned to face a surprised Tidus.

Tidus looked a little shocked at Artemis's statement. Usually he wouldn't ever comment on something so personal. But Tidus decided to jump in at that exact moment, thinking that maybe the guy was finally loosening up.

"Hey, that's what I'm talking about. I knew there was a bit of a normal human being in there somewhere Arty!" he laughed, as he patted Artemis on the shoulder playfully.

Artemis rolled his eyes and brushed Tidus's hand off his shoulder.

"Yes, yes…now leave," drawled Artemis, coldly.

Tidus walked back a bit and held his hands up defensively.

"Okay…I'll leave…but I'll be making sure to let Yuffie know how irresistible you are."

He then closed the dor and left Artemis to his schemes.

**A/N:**_ Well, what did you think? Please read and review...even if you think it's pathetic...though...we thought it was funny when we wrote it at school...so...until next time. Stay tuned!_

_Yunie Tidus and Aurum Potestas Est (being Yunie and Yuffie)_


	2. Chapter 2: Yunie and Yuffie

**Chapter 2: Yunie and Yuffie**

"There's too many of them!" yelled a young woman of 19 years, with honey brown hair, who hit a bird-like fiend that attempted to attack her.

"Nah…we can take them!" yelled back another young woman, with long black hair, who round-house kicked a fiend with vast armour.

"Yuffie…be logical…" started the first young woman, who hit an oncoming dog-like monster with one of her twin golden guns, and turning towards Yuffie.

"Yunie…I'm telling you…we can take them…we have to. If we come back empty handed…" began the girl, whose name was Yuffie and then looked at Yunie, who was better named as Yuna.

"We won't. We just need another tactic," said the girl whose name is Yunie, with determination.

"You sure? Maybe you're right…I mean…look," said Yuffie, whom got back into combat stance…ready for the next oncoming fiend, with whom she sheathed her sword and decapitated it.

The two young women looked across the rocky landscape and spotted five to six predatory fiends, stealthily creeping toward them. Yuffie and Yunie turned and ran in the opposite direction.

"Where's the relic supposed to be?" asked Yunie, puffing as she ran.

"Erm…" began Yuffie as she fumbled around in what seemed to be a shoulder bag; but continued to run at the same time.

Finally after a couple of minutes she found what she was looking for.

It beeped loudly, which seemed to distort the fiends concentration and it lit up.

"…Aha! It's directly beneath us…" said Yuffie, who stopped running.

"Are you sure?" asked Yunie, who had stopped to catch her breath, "I mean….Fowl said…"

"I know what he said…but trust me…this is it!" said Yuffie excitedly.

Yunie looked at her sceptically, but then agreed, "Okay…how far beneath us?" she asked.

Yuffie seemed like she was trying to calculate something in her head.

"Okay…I have no idea how to read this thing." Exclaimed Yuffie finally, looking at the radar.

A red dot bleeped on the screen; on top of two larger dots. She shook what seemed to be a 'home-made' radar…especially 're-figured for this sort of use.

"Well there's no use shaking it…you'll only destroy it." Exclaimed Yunie, clasping the radar to stop Yuffie shaking it, "Besides…I thought you said Artemis was going to show you how to read it the other day?"

Yuffie, who was facing away from Yunie and looking at the fiends, froze guiltily. She turned slowly to face her best friend with a smile.

"…well…yeah…he was going to show me…and he did…afterwards," said Yuffie, a little embarrassed, "So anyways…I'll just ring him."

"Wait a sec…after what?" asked Yunie.

"Well…you know?" hinted Yuffie. "Anyway…can you just get his number for me so I can talk to him because as you can see…"Yuffie began, as she nodded her head towards the fast approaching fiends, "We don't have long."

"Oh right." Yunie began; looking at the fiends, "But I want to know more when we get back to the manor." She finished, giving Yuffie a cheeky glance before returning to saving their asses.

"Okay hang on a sec." Yunie continued as she whipped out her phone.

"Hey isn't that the F900iV?" Yuffie enquired.

"Oh yeah I bought it the other day." Yunie waved off as she concentrated on quickly punching in the correct number.

Yuna handed the phone to Yuffie as Artemis answered.

"Yes?" asked a cold and irritated voice on the other end.

"Hey Artemis!" exclaimed Yuffie quietly, so as to not arouse the approaching fiends.

"Yuffie? I expec…" he began, but seemed to realise something, "Oh yes…you left your cell here…how smart."

"Hey…be nice…" started Yuffie, but was cut off by Artemis.

"Why are you calling? You're supposed to be retrieving something…AND…I'm in the middle of something." Said Artemis coldly.

"Well…I don't know how to read this radar thing. The two co-ordinates are A 15 and B 12.5…so…how deep does that make it?" asked Yuffie quickly.

Yuffie could hear Artemis thinking out aloud for a few moments.

"1 metre and 26 centimetres…I thought I explained how to calculate it before…well…you know?" said Artemis, quietening down at the last part.

"Yuffie can we get moving? I kinda wanna see little Tidus juniors before I die." Yunie whispered quickly from the side.

"Oh…right." Said Yuffie quickly, glancing at Yunie.

"Um thanks, but I gotta go now." She said into the phone.

"Wait Yuffie. Don't you dare hang up on me!" exclaimed Artemis, but it was too late.

"Okay," said Yuffie and smiled, though Yunie knew that she was forcing it.

_Damn Fowl…_thought Yunie…_it was probably something he said to her._

Yuffie passed Yunie her phone and they began to dig. Just before they proceeded to do so…Yuffie noticed lingering pyreflies floating around what seemed like baron wasteland.

She frowned.

Yunie knew Yuffie was wondering what happened to the fiends that were hunting them and tapped one of her gun holsters with a sly smile.

"Oh!" exclaimed Yuffie, realising that Yunie had taken care of the fiends while she and Artemis were on the phone.

* * *

_**Fowl Manor**_

_**2 hours later**_

Two hours later the girls were cleaned up and going about doing what they usually did. Although Yuffie had just been on a mission with Yunie, she still had to wait on Artemis for the rest of the day.

Yunie was tapping away on the, while Tidus was doing Yevon knows what. Probably outside in the courtyard smashing a few statues with his blitzball.

Artemis however was in his bedroom, examining the 'relic' that Yuffie and Yunie had successfully acquired.

"Hmm…interesting." Said Artemis himself, frowning his brow.

Suddenly he heard a loud bang that came from the direction of his window. He sighed; annoyed, as he knew exactly what it was.

Artemis stood up from his desk, straightened his tie and brushed invisible dust from his shoulders. He then proceeded toward the window. As soon as he got to the window he rolled his eyes.

"How predictable." Said Artemis under his breath; his anger rising yet again.

He flipped the security latch to the window and pushed it upwards.

"Tidus!" said Artemis; loud enough so that Tidus could hear him clearly.

Tidus, who was just waiting for Artemis to say something about the disturbance, had been standing down in the courtyard; just looking at the upper window of the manor.

He had been playing with his blitzball all afternoon and had _'accidentally'_ hit Artemis's window with it.

Tidus was trying desperately to portray the most innocent face that he could conjure, whilst at the same time, trying to hide his blitzball behind his back. Though if Tidus was where Artemis was, he would see the path of destruction he had made this afternoon.

"Hey Art Man!" exclaimed Tidus loudly, from down below.

It was then that Artemis reduced his eyes to mere slits and said in a low tone, "Please refrain from calling me _'Art Man'_."

Tidus smiled cheekily and brushed away the icy words, as he moved onto the next conversation.

"So…how's Yuffie?" he enquired, as he began to bounce his ball on the ground, completely forgetting that this was the problem in the first place.

Artemis lifted his chin slightly and glanced upwards, "She's fine. Going about her usual duties."

"Aha…and would one of those 'duties' include a make-out session?" Tidus smirked, as he stopped playing with the blitzball.

Artemis's eyes widened; not being able to believe that these words had slipped through his mouth.

But then again…it was Tidus.

He turned coolly towards Tidus once more and said, "You really have no shame, do you?"

Tidus shrugged and began bouncing his ball again, "Well not really…I guess."

"Clean up that mess!" Artemis said at once, trying to change the subject, "You have no respect for art …do you?" asked Artemis, his temper still rising.

"Err…what art…Art Man?" asked Tidus happily, oblivious to his surroundings.

At these words, Artemis clutched onto the bottom of the window sill in anger, but would not show this to Tidus.

He sighed, ignoring Tidus's repeat of that ridiculous nickname.

"Look around you! Are you completely blind? Or just plain stupid? There were ten statues of late Michel Angelo's portrayal of David…now there are only four. Have you any idea how long those statues have been in the Fowl family?" asked Artemis, at the end of his tether.

Tidus seemed thoughtful for a minute and then shrugged, "Well I guess everything must come to an end at some stage. Besides…why do you want a bunch of naked guys outside your window anyway?"

Artemis looked away, "You clearly do not appreciate art."

"It's not that big of a deal is it? I mean you've got money. Just go find another place that sells nude men." Tidus suggested with an evil smile.

"You are missing the point?" Artemis began; purposely ignoring Artemis last comment. "These were worth more than you could ever earn in your entire being. Now look at them." Artemis said as he gestured towards the piles of rubble surrounding Tidus.

Tidus looked around with the ball in hand, "Yeah, they look pretty crappy now huh?"

Artemis rolled his eyes for the third time that day. He couldn't believe how incompetent Tidus was and simply turned away and shut the window; leaving the fool to his activities.

* * *

_**A/N:** This is the second instalment of "The Fowl and The Fool". 'We' being "Yunie" and "Yuffie" have decided that this is not going to be a parody anymore…it is going to be a serious story with a real plot._

_Enjoy the second chapter.

* * *

_

**_Yunie and Yuffie_**


	3. Chapter 3: Memories

**Chapter 3: Memories**

Yuffie watched from the kitchen window as Tidus rounded up some moogle from the forest beside the manor, to help him clean up the mess in the courtyard. For some reason, he was actually doing something for a change.

Yuffie turned to look at Yunie, and smiled. It had been a year or so since Artemis had employed Yunie as his second bodyguard. Yuffie was the one who encouraged him to do so, as she and Yunie knew each other from Yuffie's last mission in Zanarkand.

Yuffie had trained at Madame Ko's for 4 years, the full-term in order to become a bodyguard, but for some reason Madame Ko had told her to go to the Zanarkand branch for her last mission. She had been the best bodyguard at the Calm Lands Headquarters and was the best of most of the headquarters in all of Spira…except for one…Besaid.

When Yuffie had arrived there in Zanarkand, a girl her age named Yunie was the talk of Spira. Apparently Yuna had been the summoner to defeat Sin. This YUNA was a celebrity, and was now also near the end of her training as a bodyguard. Yuffie had not known this, and so, ignored Yuna for a while, until it came time for both Yuna's and Yuffie's last mission, in which they realised they had the same interests in mind.

Eventually, Yunie and Yuffie became allies in order to protect their principals, right up until the end of their training.

After a few years living in Besaid with Yunie, Yuffie went back to the Calm Lands to find work…alone. Yunie had decided to suddenly become a Sphere Hunter with one of her cousins. She had briefly told Yuffie about a sphere about a certain blonde man, who was lost to her two years ago. Yuna said that she had to do it on her own, so Yuffie let her and did not protest. But somehow, Yuffie thought it was pointless to pursue love; until she met 'him'.

Yuffie continued on to the Calm Lands; she stayed there for around six months, though, she thought she'd never find work.

* * *

_**Flash Back**_

Yuffie sat in silence, as the vast wind of the Calm Lands wisped around her. She was about to take off her boots after a full day of walking when she heard gun shots echo through the Calm Lands. Yuffie's head jolted up at the sound. She grabbed her shotgun quickly and slammed it into her back holster. She then grabbed her sword and slid it into its sheath on her back also (arranged so both weapons cross over on her back). Yuffie quickly ran to the direction of the gunshot; she scanned the area and saw what seemed like a 'Mexican Stand-off' going on between a man wearing an expensive suit and his bodyguard, and about five other men with Bevelle guns, though, the men were not from Bevelle.

One of the men shot at the man in the suit, but the bodyguard, who appeared to be a woman, dived in front of him. She lay motionless, but the man in the suit did not flinch. Yuffie saw some sort of coldness in his eyes from where she was running, but kept on going.

She could only just hear what they were saying:

"What are you gonna do now that your little bodyguard's gone?" began one of the men who seemed to be the leader of the five thugs.

"Spare me the theatrics and cliché and comments." Said the well-dressed man coldly, although a hint of fear was in his voice.

Every few minutes he would look towards the girl, lying motionless on the ground but tried to hide it.

Yuffie was almost there.

"You may be smart and rich; but you sure as hell ain't invincible." Said the leader with a malicious smile on his face.

"Maybe not…but he won't die today," said a voice from behind him.

The leader turned to be greeted with a fist in his face. The other thugs; armed with guns watched for a minute or so; not believing what they were seeing.

Artemis watched with slight relief, but also intrigue, at a beautiful young woman, who was disposing of the men swiftly and without much trouble. The girl possessed long black hair, which was pulled back into a tight braid. She wore black jeans, a singlet top; several holsters for guns, she had a thin, toned build and olive skin.

Artemis also noticed that this girl had incredible skill combat, agility and somehow appeared to keep a close eye on him; which led him to believe she had been highly trained in guarding.

_Perhaps this is an opportunity_, thought Artemis slyly. He looked toward Juliet's motionless body; his face saddened but he decided that he could not dwell and looked back to the girl.

Yuffie had just administered a swift kick to the man's neck, which he was instantly incapacitate, and walked over to where Artemis was standing. He watched her intently for a few moments as he contemplated something. She was obviously skilled in the area of physical attack. Her eyes met with his and the idea of her protecting him when the time came was something that he thought would definitely work to his advantage.

"Are you alright?" asked Yuffie; still looking into Artemis's blue eyes.

"My brain is still intact; I'm still a genius and my Armani suit untainted…so yes…I am." Said Artemis simply.

**2 years later**

"Hey Yunie…over here!" yelled Tidus, motioning inside a ruined cave.

The two had arrived in Zanarkand via airship, in search of a 'supposed' treasure sphere, containing the whereabouts of a secret cave, with vast amounts of treasure.

Yuna looked at Tidus with both surprise and delight.

Surprised; because he wasn't very experienced when it came to sphere hunting and delighted because he was the one thing that made her life worth living…even if he was a complete idiot at times.

They were now both inspecting the sphere, which would lead them to the secret cave 'hopefully'.

Suddenly a voice was heard from behind.

"Hey you two…I believe that's my sphere."

Yunie turned to see a girl with long black hair and she was wearing a black outfit. She seemed familiar and then it hit her.

"Yuffie?"

_**End Flash Back

* * *

**_

"What's up with you?" came a familiar voice; breaking Yuffie from her thoughts.

She turned to see that Yunie had now walked up to stand next to her so that she could watch Tidus from the window. A small smile was apparent upon her face as Yuffie followed her gaze to see that Tidus was now once again annoying Artemis, who was looking down at the blonde from his study window.

"Oh nothing…" sighed Yuffie, as she turned her eyes to the man in the window.

* * *

_**A/N: **Well…here's our latest instalment of "The Fowl and The Fool". So read and review…_

_**Yuffie and Yunie**_


	4. Chapter 4: The Scene at Dinner

**Chapter 4: The Scene at Dinner**

That night, the four were all seated around the dining table, eating dinner silently. Every now and then Tidus would glance over at Yunie with a cheeky smile, which only she knew what it meant.

Yuffie was seated on the right hand side of Artemis glancing up at him every now an then and would then turn back to the other two beside her.

'Why can't _he_ be like Tidus? He never looks at me like Tidus looks at Yuna.'

Suddenly, as if reading her thoughts, Tidus called down the table to Artemis.

"Hey…Art Man…" exclaimed Tidus as he swallowed a mouthful of food, "why don't you talk to ya girl. She looks kind of lonely over there!"

Artemis suddenly looked up to stare at Tidus.

"Firstly, there is no talking at dinner, as we have established earlier. Secondly, there is definitely no talking with your mouth full," replied Artemis coldly.

With that, Artemis lowered his face and lifted his fork towards his mouth.

"Honestly…can't we talk about something…I mean…" began Yunie, before Artemis cut in.

"Listen Miss Yuna…your guardian slash lover, destroyed six of my statues of David, in which the great Michelangelo himself created. I am not in the mood for small talk."

"Hey, can you not speak to her like tat? And I _did_ apologize," Tidus shot back seriously.

Yuffie was sitting in between her somewhat arguing friends and wasn't sure if she should say something.

"Tidus…both you and Miss Yuna are guests in my Manor. I suggest you keep quiet for the remainder of the meal."

"Actually, I'm not that hungry anymore," Yunie stated, as she rose from her chair and threw her napkin onto the table; walking quickly out of the room.

Tidus watched her leave and dropped his fork, scraped his chair across the floor and got up. Without saying another word, he followed Yunie out of the room.

Yuffie was the only one left and as she turned to face him she saw that his eyes were turned to his plate once more.

She parted her lips and was just about to say something when…

"That goes for you as well."

Yuffie stared at Artemis in disbelief and quickly jumped up from her chair, throwing her napkin onto his dinner plate.

With that, she left the room, leaving Artemis to stare after her in both annoyance and regret.

That night, Yunie lay on her bed with Tidus hugging her close.

"Do you think Yuffie will be okay? I mean he's so cold towards her," whispered Yunie, knowing that Yuffie was in the next room.

"Mmm…yeah; she's strong. She can kick ass…like you!" exclaimed Tidus, in reply.

Yunie smiled. "Yeah, but…emotionally. I mean, when I was searching for you…" she trailed off; remembering her lonely days without him.

"It's okay," he scathed, "go on."

"Well…I was tough too…but I felt so empty and so weak emotionally."

Tidus nodded against her neck. "I know what you mean. But, I guess…well…he's not exactly the emotional type. So if she really wants him…" he trailed off.

"Yeah I know…I'm just glad you're such a baby and can show me you love me," she laughed as she intertwined her fingers with his.

He then leaned over to place a kiss on her lips, before losing himself in their love.

Yuffie was lying in her bed next door, staring up at the ceiling.

'_Why does Artemis have to be so…so…cold!'_ thought Yuffie.

Another voice chimed in. _'Because he's an ass.'_

"Yeah but I like him all the same," said Yuffie out aloud.

'_Don't you mean…love him,'_ came another teasing voice in her head.

"Doesn't matter…he doesn't love me," she replied to the arguing voices.

Suddenly a voice came over the PA and Yuffie knew exactly who it was.

"Water? At this time of night?"

She sighed and removed herself from the bed.

A few minutes later she had entered Artemis' room and saw him sitting at his desk, typing away at his laptop.

She walked over to his desk; sat the water down on a coaster and turned to leave.

"Wait a moment," came his voice.

She stopped and sighed, before turning to face him. She folded her arms and tapped her foot as if to make her point that she was waiting more obvious.

With this he rose and straightened his Armani suit, before walking around his desk.

"You made quite the scene at dinner tonight."

Yuffie dropped her arms and stared at him in disbelief; for the second time that night.

"Me? You were the one being rude to my friends."

"I was being rude? That fowl specimen you refer to as Tidus was talking to 'me' with his mouth full."

Yuffie rolled her eyes.

She turned to the door, only to have Artemis beat her to it and bar her path.

She looked up at him and saw that 'look' he always gave before…

"Aren't you going to drink your water?" she asked him.

He moved forward a little, towards Yuffie and replied with a sly and wanting smile, "after."

**A/N:** _Hey guys…another chapter up. Well…we hope that the characters are all in character and everything…but the only way we'll know if its all in character…is if you review! So PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW! We would really love to know how our story is going…because we're really enjoying writing the cross over…so yeah. _

_**Yuffie and Yunie**_


	5. Chapter 5: The Dream

**Chapter 5: The Dream**

Yuna awoke suddenly, after an awful dream, to find that there was an empty space next to her.

'_Where is Tidus?'_ she thought, then smiled cheekily. _'I thought he would've been tired after last night.'_

Yuna stretched her arms, reaching the bed head and then realised something.

'_This isn't our room.'_

She shot up out of bed, as quickly as she could muster, and looked around the somewhat empty room. Yuna then glanced down at herself. She wore her usual gunner outfit; except something was amiss…she just couldn't work out what.

"What is going on here?" she asked herself aloud.

As she glanced around the room, things started to fall away; she watched as the bed fell through the floor, as if it was melting in vast amounts of lava. Yunie panicked and ran out of the room. Every time she ran past a door, she glanced through it to find that the rooms were melting away as well. She looked down to the end of the hall to see a small pedestal with something sitting in the middle of it. Yuna quickened her pace, and as she got closer to the pedestal, she realised straight away what it was.

"The artefact," Yunie stated simply.

"Yeah…it is…huh?" said a voice from behind her.

Yunie suddenly turned to find Tidus standing, almost mesmerised by the sight.

"Tidus?" asked Yuna, frowning with confusion.

She moved closer to him, smiling; glad that she wasn't alone.

Tidus just stood there; watching the artefact. Yuna gazed at his ocean blue eyes, which burned with want…but for the first time in her life…it wasn't for her.

Yuna turned to look at the artefact once more, to see what was so _interesting_ about it; but when she turned back to look at her one true love…he was gone.

A tear ran down her cheek as she remembered that night when he had faded; just after she had Sent Sin to the far plane.

"Artemis please," yelled a voice, which snapped Yuna back into reality.

Yuna wiped the tear from her face and looked to the source of this outburst. It was Yuffie, who was talking to herself, it would seem.

"Yuna…" said Yuffie suddenly.

"What's going on?" asked Yuna, running up to where Yuffie was standing.

But Yuffie's eyes saddened. She slowly lifted her head to face Yuna.

"He doesn't love me," she said, though her lips trembled.

"Yuffie…what's going on?" asked Yuna again…though…she wanted to explore that comment further…there were more important things to work out right now.

"It doesn't matter…" started Yuffie, when suddenly an invisible force pushed both of them backwards.

When Yuna recovered from the 'push', she sat up slowly to find the artefact floating in the air. Yuna was about to say something when a voice came from behind her.

"How incongruous...that something of this calibre would happen to her. I should have told her."

"Huh?" asked Yuna, turning around to find Artemis looking at her with sadness.

But Artemis was looking straight through her. Yuna looked behind herself, to find Yuffie holding the artefact. Her eyes looked possessed; suddenly Yuna felt herself drowning, until she blacked out.

Yuna yelled herself awake to find Tidus sleeping next to her. He began to stir after hearing her scream, though.

"…err…what's wrong?" he asked, after realising that Yuna was covered in cold sweat.

"…it was just a nightmare I suppose," said Yuna slowly.

Tidus looked at the bedside clock; it was 6:00AM. He then looked back to Yuna and reached out to hold her closely. Yuna obliged. After a few minutes, Tidus realised Yuna was shaking.

"Yuna?"

"Yes?"

"You're shaking."

"Am I?" asked Yuna softly, as if she was in her own world.

"What did you…erm…dream about?" asked Tidus wearily.

Yuna cringed at the world 'dream'. Ever since Tidus had faded away and it had become clear to her that he was simply a dream of the Fayth, she had hated the word…she even hated her own dreams. Now that Tidus was back, though, it didn't bother her so much.

'_But last nights dream…nightmare…was so…real!'_ she thought.

Suddenly Tidus jumped out of bed, grabbed Yuna's gun holsters and put them on. Apart from the fact that they were feminine and he looked like a complete goof…they looked okay.

"Hey Yuna!" yelled Tidus.

Yuna looked to where Tidus was jumping around in her gun holsters, making a complete fool of himself and laughed. Tidus began running around the room, making weird noises, which amused Yuna even more.

* * *

Meanwhile, in Artemis's room, Yuffie laid upon Artemis's seemingly, toned, bare chest, sleeping quietly.

Artemis himself had been awake for awhile, thinking about a lot of things, as he always did after a 'good night'; a night of physical activity, as he could do nothing else, due to his usual inactiveness. He was lying on his back, with one arm around the small of Yuffie's back and one arm behind his head; smiling confidently. Occasionally he would look down at the mass of black hair that was surrounding his upper abdomen and would smile even more. He began to stroke the black hair and as a result of this, caused a small moan to immerse from Yuffie, who began to wake up. She looked up at him and crawled closer to his face, but drowsily, so she could kiss him.

"So…" said Artemis, smiling slyly, who simply awaited her kiss.

"So what?" asked Yuffie, who was now on top of him.

She leant down and kissed him on the cheek.

"Well…" began Artemis, who was thinking impure thoughts, and was about to act upon them, but stopped when he heard a crashing noise further down the hall.

Yuffie looked up at the door and frowned. She felt Artemis tense up and knew why.

'Great…he'll be back to his cold mood again and blame me for Tidus's behaviour,' thought Yuffie. So instead of looking back at Artemis, she simply got up, found her different articles of clothing (which were scattered amongst Artemis's clothing, all around the floor), got dressed and began to walk out.

"I'll have a look…okay?" said Yuffie, softly, as she walked out.

She never wanted displease Artemis.

So instead, he was left there, slightly confused by Yuffie's weird behaviour, but continued to think.

'_I must continue with my work, in regards to the Diablo'_ he thought, and sighed.

"If Tidus doesn't disturb me that is," said Artemis, rolling his eyes at Tidus's actions yesterday.

He was about to say something else, when he heard voices outside his door. Artemis concluded that Yuffie had gone to see what the noise was, found out it was Tidus, yet again, began to talk to Yuna, and whilst having a conversation and walking at the same time, decided to stop outside Artemis's door. He also concluded that they didn't realise they were outside his door; Artemis smiled evilly at this.

'_To my advantage, of course,'_ he thought, as he got out of bed quickly, rummaged around on the floor for his underwear, put them on and walked close to the door to listen.

"…what do you mean you _'guess we've made up'_?" asked Yuffie, completely stopping outside the door.

"Well…we heard you two last night," stated Yuna, cheekily.

"…oh…" said Yuffie, quietly; becoming slightly embarrassed.

Artemis raised his eyebrows at Yuffie's reaction. 'I knew it…' thought Artemis.

"So…how was your night?" asked Yuffie, hoping to change the subject.

Artemis felt relieved at this; he did not like it when Yuffie talked about their 'relationship' to Yuna, in fact, he felt that it demeaned his reputation when she did anything remotely like that.

"Well…I had a really weird dream," said Yuna, hesitantly.

Artemis could hear the trembling in her voice.

"Please tell…well…unless its one of _'those'_ dreams," said Yuffie; just as cheeky as Yuna sounded moments ago.

"No…its not one of _'those'_ dreams…but…it involved you…and Artemis," said Yuna, whispering now.

Artemis could still hear her though, but only just. He moved closer to the door, resting his ear upon the _expensive_, but old oak wooden door.

"Well, I thought I woke up…but I must have still been asleep because the whole room began to melt away and I realised it wasn't even our room. And Tidus wasn't there. Then I remember leaving the room and I had a look around. At the end of the hall was a pedestal I guess and I could see something in the centre of it. So I got closer and I saw…" Yuna said more quietly "…the Diablo…the artefact".

"Huh…what…" began Yuffie.

"Hang on…I'll get to it…" interrupted Yuna "…anyway, I said…in my dream, _'The artefact'_ and I heard a voice from behind me saying, _'yeah…it is…huh?'_ I turned around and saw Tidus and he looked, kinda, out of it."

"Too much excitement last night I guess?" stated Yuffie.

Yuna frowned and folded her arms playfully, "Hey, I'm trying to say something serious here."

"Oh yeah…sorry."

"As I was saying…he was watching it and I turned to look at it again. But then I felt…strange and when I turned back…he was gone. Then I heard you yelling out _'Artemis please.'_ I didn't know it was you at first but yeah…then you saw me and said _'Yuna.'_ And then when I asked you 'what's going on' you seemed sad. And then you said _'he doesn't love me'_," explained Yuna further.

Yuffie looked to the ground sadly for a second, but tried not to show it.

'_Artemis doesn't love me,'_ she thought.

Artemis, whom was still listening to their conversation, frowned slightly, as if he felt…guilty.

'_Yuffie must realise I'm incapable of doing so…what is wrong with her?'_ thought Artemis. He sighed quietly.

'_You love her,'_ a voice said, deep in Artemis's intelligent mind.

'_No I don't,'_ said another. Artemis shook his head in frustration of the arguing voices in his mind.

'_But she clearly loves you, you fool!'_ said the first voice.

'_No she doesn't,'_ said the second voice.

'_She couldn't,'_ Artemis thought, trying to ignore the voices. _'Could she?'_

Artemis thought of all the times Yuffie had saved his life, and had almost died trying. The times she smiled at him, with pure happiness; he would always smile back and would, if only for a second, feel true happiness…a happiness that his illegitimate businesses and money could never offer.

'_It's all in the job…she's paid to,'_ he thought. _'She knows this 'relationship' is just a **convenience**.'_

'_You know she loves you deep down…you just tried to forget about it,'_ said the first voice.

'_Okay…I give up,'_ said the second voice.

Artemis shook his head. _'If she loves me…I will give her reason not to,'_ thought Artemis, cruelly.

'_But you love her too,'_ said the first voice.

'_I know,'_ he thought, and his heart weakened. He could never be cruel to her…Artemis could only try.

His mind went back to the conversation.

"…but you think that don't you?" enquired Yuna.

Yuffie looked to the floor as Yuna questioned her.

"…maybe," said Yuffie.

"I mean…the guy is cold…do you think he'd know how to love?" asked Yuna.

"…maybe," said Yuffie; unsure.

"I hope you're right Yuffie…I worry about you sometimes…but then I heard you two 'make up' last night…so I assumed everything as okay," said Yuna.

Yuffie frowned.

"What time is it?" asked Yuffie.

"6:50AM…oh…we better make breakfast…then Artemis will _definitely_ be in a cold mood this morning." said Yuna, slightly worried.

"Yeah…you know what he said to me last night after you left the table?" asked Yuffie.

Yuna frowned slightly.

"What?"

"'That goes for you as well." said Yuffie, sadly.

"Oh…" said Yuna slightly disheartened.

Yuna shook her head and thought: _'Why must he be so cruel'_.

"But oh well…I'm used to it," said Yuffie cheerfully, and began to walk down the hall.

'_How can she still stay cheerful after that?'_ thought Yuna.

However, she shrugged the thought off and followed Yuffie down the hall.

* * *

_**A/N: **Yes well…what do you all think? Oh and the "After" line that Artemis said in chapter 4 was referring to the fact that he would drink his water, "After" they slept together._

_**Yunie and Yuffie**_


	6. Chapter 6: The Diablo

**Chapter 6: The Diablo**

_**A couple of months later…**_

Artemis had fully examined the artefact. There was something sinister about it. He knew full well what it was.

Before he had instructed for his employees, Yuffie and Yuna to go and extract it from Zanarkand, Artemis had looked into the history of the Diablo.

By using the most advanced machina; Artemis had constructed a database that told him everything he needed to about it.

Apparently the Diablo went back 1000 years ago; back to the time when Bevelle's machina and Zanarkand's summoners were at war.

The Diablo's origins traced back further then 1000 years of course, but it was unknown as to how or why it was created.

All Artemis could find was that in the time when Zanarkand was not in ruins, the Diablo was used for evil purposes, or more to the truth, the Diablo used a young man, whose heart was weak enough to use for 'its' evil purposes.

It was a young man who was deeply in love and because of this was willing to go to all lengths for 'her'.

Artemis found out that the host for the Diablo's evil doings was a young man named Shuyin. It was recorded in Spira's historical documents in Bevelle's database (which Artemis had successfully hacked into manually) that Shuyin had planned on destroying Bevelle's armies with a vast weapon that Bevelle itself had come across. He planned on stealing it so that his lover, Lenne, could live.

What Shuyin did not realise, was that Vegnagun would not only destroy Bevelle's guards, but, the whole of Spira also.

The Diablo knew this, as well as the fact that Shuyin did not; which is why Shuyin was the perfect candidate for its evil doings.

This was one of the factors that was not recorded in the Bevelle database. Artemis concluded that it was because someone unleashed the Diablo.

Artemis had printed out this information for future reference, as well as various others.

* * *

**The Study, Fowl Manor, 12:30 pm**

Yuffie came waltzing into the study to deliver Artemis's spring water. She seemed to be sweetly profusely for some reason

"Hey Artemis." she exclaimed slightly out of breath as she sat down a glass filled with fresh Macalania spring water.

She turned around to find that no one was in the room, as it was darkened.

There was only one light on in the room, which caused shadows to flow all around it.

"Hmm…" moaned Yuffie, pouting, as she realised that she was talking to herself.

She turned to proceed out of the gloomy room when a chilling voice spoke.

"What are you running from?" it asked.

"Artemis…is that you?" Yuffie asked, whipping around, slightly frightened.

She glanced around the room to find that she was talking to herself yet again. So she backed towards the door and began to walk out again.

"I said what are you running from?" said the eerie voice.

Yuffie whipped around yet again, looking around frantically.

"Listen Artemis…if you're playing games with me…it isn't funny." Said Yuffie, slightly scared.

Yuffie walked further into the room. She saw movement out of the corner of her eye, and angled her head in that direction.

"Over here." Said a voice in Yuffie's head.

Yuffie turned to the left and a little, as it felt as though she 'should' for some reason.

Something inside her told her to turn the main light on; though…it didn't win.

She kept moving forward, closer…and closer. Yuffie felt as though she should move closer; like there was something special in the shadows when suddenly the light turned on.

Yuffie looked at what laid before her on another table. It was the Diablo. She could have sworn it was 'calling' for her…_but why?_ Thought Yuffie.

Yuffie continued to look at the Diablo; it intrigued her. She just wanted to touch it, so she reached out for it.

"Don't." said a slightly panicked voice.

Whoever it was walked over to where Yuffie stood.

"What do you think you are doing Yuffie?" asked the person; though sudden coolness had come over them.

Yuffie continued to stare at the Diablo.

"Yuffie!" said the person, slightly louder. It was Artemis.

Yuffie blinked a couple of times and looked toward Artemis; realising who it was.

"Oh! Artemis!" she exclaimed; seeming happy to see him.

She walked toward him and wrapped her arms around him in relief. Artemis simply stood there. He neither hugged her back nor moved.

Yuffie tightened her grip around his torso; her head resting against his chest.

Artemis then began to hold Yuffie back, but as soon as he did, Yuffie hugged him tighter.

"Yuffie…I need to breathe." Said Artemis softly into her ear.

"Oh…" said Yuffie, smiling and pulling away.

"Besides…someone could see us." Said Artemis, getting back to his cold self.

Artemis watched as Yuffie's smiled faltered a bit; he frowned at this.

"Why were you standing; watching the Diablo?" asked Artemis.

He already had an idea why, but, depending on Yuffie's answer and reaction would prove something that Artemis needed to know.

He observed Yuffie's reaction closely, whilst still holding her. He watched as Yuffie's brow furrowed.

"I don't know…I can't remember." Said Yuffie finally.

She had suddenly forgotten why.

Artemis smiled, almost deviously. He knew exactly what had happened.

The Diablo had awoken once again…but two of the many questions that ran through his mind were, why and how?

"I came in to see you, I think…that's right. I'd just finished sparring with Yuna, when I realised the time. It was the usual time when you expect your water, so, I came up here with it…and then…I…I just can't remember." Said Yuffie softly in defeat.

She looked up to find Artemis's piercing blue eyes, staring at her, with his brow furrowed. Yuffie smiled.

"Don't worry…" said Artemis awkwardly, smiling leaning down towards her mouth; kissing her softly.

Just as the two were about to deepen the kiss, a voice caused Artemis to stop abruptly and stare angrily at the source of the voice, though, he still held Yuffie slightly.

"Hey Art Man!" said Tidus cheerfully, but just stopped and stared, wide-eyed, realising what he had just interrupted.

Yuffie was half-expecting Artemis to move away from her, so as not to give Tidus a chance to have a go at him.

However Artemis stayed where he was and merely rolled his eyes.

"How many times must I tell you…"

"Yeah yeah, I know…no more, "Art Man'…right?"

"Yes…and I don't appreciate being interrupted either."

Tidus waved him off and rested his hands on his hips.

"Hey you guys seen Yuna?" Tidus asked becoming slightly serious.

Yuffie moved away from Artemis, leaving him in an awkward stance, so he quickly turned and walked to his desk.

"No I haven't…maybe she's outside." Yuffie offered.

Tidus scratched the back of his head and frowned a little, "Yeah maybe. I'll go have a look."

"Okay." Yuffie nodded. "I'll go with you."

Artemis stared up at Yuffie from behind as he sorted through a few sheets of paper on his desk.

"Make sure to bring my water later on." He reminded her before she left.

Yuffie turned and smiled at him. She knew what he was thinking…even though his expression was one of no emotion.

"All right."

* * *

"So has Yuna said anything to you about…anything?" Tidus asked as they both wandered outside.

Yuffie frowned in concern and said quietly, "What do you mean?"

"Oh nothing." Tidus quickly made up for his strange behaviour, "It's just…she's been acting weird lately and this morning…"

He stopped and seemed to be in thought.

"What about this morning?" Yuffie prompted.

He didn't answer straight away, but when he did he said, "Well she was sick this morning."

Yuffie thought and tried to figure out why he was so concerned over something like that.

"But everyone gets sick and…" but she paused when she saw the look on his face.

She began to put things together in her mind.

"You're thinking she may be…"

Tidus knew what she was saying even though she didn't finish her sentence.

"I don't wanna rush into any conclusions…she's probably just sick." He interrupted.

"Yeah…maybe." Yuffie said, but knew that he didn't believe that just as much as she didn't.

* * *

_**A/N:** Finally…chapter 6. We hope you like it and please leave a review.

* * *

_

_**Yunie and Yuffie**_


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